The Tourist

For a movie that boasts two most iconic Hollywood stars of the decade, it’s sad to say that The Tourist barely lives up to expectations, mine at the very least. Not that the movie doesn’t have a good storyline.

It has a good premise; one about an undercover agent, who fell in love with a money-launderer she was supposed to be spying on, on a seemingly relaxing and innocent trip in which she came across another man whom she fell in love with (sort of) while being hunted by both her agency and the mafia her beau’s had robbed, both thinking the new man was the man they wanted in disguise. With sultry American Angelina Jolie playing Elise, the British undercover agent and British-born Johnny Depp as Frank, the American math teacher (the irony of it), it is sort of a crime to expect anything less but the movie really is nothing more than less.

What’s lacking in the movie was the intense and explosive action-packed scenes that would make me teeter on my seat. Like seriously, it was sort of an espionage-themed movie so some explosions or ass-kicking fights or heavy-artillery shootings would be amazing against the stunning background of Venice. I don’t condone violence but the movie really should have some! Based on the French film Anthony Zimmer, critics seemed to think this movie pales severely to comparison. I’ve never watched Anthony Zimmer but as I watched The Tourist, I had a hard time looking out for any good moment that would make The Tourist reasonable in it’s own right (the opening scene with Jolie maybe).

Even the reasonably-good acting from both leads couldn’t really salvage the worth of this movie. Both stars were excellent in their own acting but there really was no chemistry between the two of them thanks to poor characterisation of both characters who have very few screentime together. The only spark I felt between the two was the scene in the train when they first met and dined together

It was good to see Depp playing a character that used very little eyeliner. From Edward Scissorhands to Captain Jack Sparrow to Willy Wonka to Sweeney Todd to Mad Hatter, I sort of forget that he was the hot and dashing older brother in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape or the bad-ass John Dillinger in Public Enemy. It was kinda interesting to see Depp as an awkward and blithering American tourist who was head over heels with his love towards Elise. Having said that, his versatility seems to have lost its shine on this one.

Jolie’s acting was the movie’s only saving grace. Jolie was just…well, I’m speechless! There really was nothing significant to the character she was playing – the Hollywood is littered with sexy and seductive female undercover agents going about their missions draped in Chanel and Prada and the likes – but Jolie brought the whole elegance of such a character to a totally new height! The opening scene in which she sauntered across the gloomy Paris pavement, she seemed to have sucked out all the light from the sun to have it emanates through the ivory sheath and the cashmere wrap she was wearing, paired with a matching clutch and the suede glove! As the camera zoomed in to focus on her well-contoured bum, I swore the way her hips went up and down alternatingly with every step she took would be enough to turn any gay men straight. A female friend of mine who I went to watch the movie with said she would readily turn lesbian for Jolie.

Having said that, Jolie’s stunning appearance was not enough to save the movie from being classified as pure trash the way I classified Salt. I watched Salt online and I fell asleep halfway through and I was the least curious as to how it ended. The only reason I didn’t fell asleep or walk out of the theatre for The Tourist was the 6.15 GBP I paid for the ticket. That’s RM 30 and I could get three McDonald BigMac meals with that amount! Wanted was Jolie’s last film that I really enjoyed and that was because of the strong, twists-filled, action-packed storyline.

Oh well, 1.5/5. Don’t waste your money on this one!